yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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