She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
