my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
