Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
