I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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