rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize