You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize