i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
