Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
