i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
