I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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