Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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