So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
