my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
