he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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