My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
