Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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