and she was petting her beer can
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
