Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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