Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
