TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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