I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
