I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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