She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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