That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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