i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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