dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize