she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
