i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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