I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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