i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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