Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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