why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
