last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
