Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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