She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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