And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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