He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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