I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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