Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
