did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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