Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
