my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
