ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
