i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
