Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
