There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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