After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
