well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize