Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
