for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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