U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
