Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize