I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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