Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
