Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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