3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
