Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My balls are so social today.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
