I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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