And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
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Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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