I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
