Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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