Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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