make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
