kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
